


Meet the Hux-Solos

by huxduxtuxlux



Series: Meet The... [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Gen, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, fluffy crack, like this isnt even about star wars anymore, meet the parents au, overprotective parents hux and ben, soo out of character, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-08 06:32:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7746811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huxduxtuxlux/pseuds/huxduxtuxlux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Julia brings home a love interest from college, Hux and Ben try to be more accepting than their parents were.  They might not succeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Harvey

“I won’t be like my parents, I won’t be like my parents, I won’t be like my—”

“Ben.”  Hux wrapped his arms around Ben’s waist, attempting to calm him in his growing freak-out.  “You’re nothing like them.  Stop worrying.”

They were preparing dinner—a roast chicken, mashed potatoes, cheesy broccoli, lasagna, Pillsbury crescent rolls (sent from America by Rey), egg rolls, and brownie sundaes.  All Julia’s favorites.  Her first semester away at University had been very hard on Hux and Ben, who occasionally called up to the loft on Sunday mornings that breakfast was ready, forgetting that she wasn’t there.  But now she was coming back, she and her mother on their way over for a welcome home dinner.  But one thing made Hux and Ben uneasy:  Julia was bringing a friend.  A  _ special _ friend.

“If you’re going to worry about anything,” Hux said as he sprinkled parmesan over the lasagna, “Worry about how we know  _ nothing _ about this kid.  Nothing!  Not even a name!  That’s suspicious.  What if he’s a murderer?”

“I’ll murder him right back!”  Ben brandished the carving knife with a little too much enthusiasm.  

“I told her not to grow up,” Hux mumbled.  “She should’ve listened to me.”

 

Approximately 40 minutes later the doorbell rang.  

“Are you ready?”  Ben asked.

“To meet the scum who’s corrupting my daughter?  Never.”

Ben opened the door anyway.

 

“Dad!”  All fear temporarily dissipated when Julia ran to Hux, throwing her arms around his neck.  Hux held her tight, kissed the top of her head.  

“Jules, I missed you so much, sweetheart.”

“I missed you too.”  She released herself, and Hux looked her over.  She seemed so grown up.  She’d only been gone three months but it might as well have been three years.  He wanted to freeze time, not let her get any older, just watch her like this for as long as possible.  Frozen she was not, however, and she rushed over to Ben to hug him hello.  Rachel greeted Hux with a kiss on the cheek, which he returned, then jutted his chin toward the figure in the doorway and asked Rachel quietly, “What do you know so far?  Is he terrible?”

“I dunno,” she whispered back, “I can’t get a good read on him.  He was pretty much silent the whole trip from the train station to here!”

Hux’s face contorted, eyes bulging, lips pulled wonky.  “That can’t be good, can it?!”

Briefly, and probably for the first time ever, Hux longed for the presence of his mother-in-law, the human lie detector who could read anyone.  Leia still didn’t care much for Hux, though she had grown fond of Julia over the last few years, and wouldn’t hesitate to declare her disapproval of a less-than-adequate partner.  Hux squinted his eyes at the young man, as if doing so would help him to see the boy’s intentions more clearly.  It didn’t.

Hux sighed and whispered to Rachel, “I was really hoping she’d be a lesbian.”

Rachel shrugged.  “She’s young, yet.  Maybe this is her heterosexual phase.  Remember ours?”

“It lasted for all of ten minutes.”

“Oh, Hux, you sweet, dumb thing.” Rachel giggled.  “It was six minutes, tops.”

“But it did bring us the greatest gift in the world.”  They gazed at Julia, who was excitedly telling Ben about a martial arts class at college, eyes bright and sparkling.  Hux slipped an arm around Rachel’s waist and gave her a squeeze.

“That it did,” she said.  “That it did.”

 

Hux learned that the boy was called Harvey, which was strike one.  While Julia, Rachel, and Harvey munched on bread at the table, Hux and Ben worked in the kitchen, carving the meat and doing their last preparations.

“ _ Harvey _ ,” Ben sneered.  “Like the dumb boyfriend from  _ Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” _

“Or the giant imaginary rabbit from that play.”

“Or like the famed sexist and host of Family Feud, Harvey-Comma-Steve.”

Hux dropped his fork with a clatter.  “Steve Harvey is sexist?!”

From the dining area, Rachel called with concern.  “You boys okay in there?”

“All good, be out soon!”  Ben called back as Hux composed himself.  In a hushed tone, he hissed, “All I know is I don’t like him one bit.”

“I know,” Hux said.  “Me neither.  But he’s hardly spoken.  We can’t write him off just yet, right?  Like your parents did me.”

“I know, I know, but...look at his face.”  Ben gritted his teeth.  “It’s a very punchable face.”

Hux knew he shouldn’t find the hypothetical of his husband beating up his daughter’s boyfriend so sweet, but it warmed something in him.  Hux loved to see Ben being protective of Julia.  Any evidence of Ben’s love for her nearly sent Hux weeping, be it a smile and a high-five or a death threat to her middle school bullies (all in jest...mostly).  

 

Hux remembered the fear bubbling in the pit of his stomach when he decided to tell Ben that he had a kid.  His rule, before Ben, was that no mention would be made before the fourth date—no point in telling a one-night stand.  Technically, though, it was still their first date, albeit about 37 hours into it.  Rachel had Julia that weekend, so Hux had no reason to not spend many consecutive hours in a handsome man’s bed.  They had just eaten pizza in bed (their very first NPP, godbless) after their seventh round of sex, and were now lying on top off the sheets, digesting amazing, greasy carbs, Ben’s head resting on Hux’s chest, Hux stroking Ben’s soft hair absent-mindedly.

_ “Tell me about you _ ,”  _ said Ben. _

_ “I have,” Hux chuckled. _

_ “More.  I know you’re between jobs and you want to start a publishing company.  I know you dance and like chicken on your pizza and grew up in Ireland.  I know you’re nearsighted and have a birthmark on your thigh.  But there’s so much  _ more _ , isn’t there?  And I want to know all of it.” _

_ “Why?” _

_ “Because I want to know you.” _

_ “Yes, but why?” _

_ “I think you’re interesting.  I think you’re special.” _

_ “Special?” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ Hux wasn’t sure what ‘special’ meant, but the warmth in Ben’s voice suggested something good.  “Well, I want to know you, too.” _

_ “Alright then.  Tell me something I don’t know, and I’ll tell you the same.” _

_ “You first.” _

_ “Ok, um...I have these...special abilities.” _

_ “Abilities?”  Hux snorted.  “Like you can fly or something?” _

_ Something like hurt flashed across Ben’s face and he shook his head.  “No.  But I can...I have a sense about things.  I know what people...not what they’re  _ thinking _ , but what they’re  _ feeling.   _ It radiates off of them, like a color.” _

_ “Like a mood ring only you can see?” _

_ Ben’s voice hardened.  “I know it sounds stupid.” _

_ “No, no, I just...what color am I, right now?” _

_ “Pink and red.” _

_ “Physically that is factual, yes,” said Hux with a giggle, gesturing to his red hair and fingernails and the pink flush all over his body.   _

_ “But otherwise, too.  The pink is tenderness, er, fondness.  And the red, it’s like a dark, deep red, it’s like—” _

_ “Lust?”  Hux let his hands drift over Ben’s torso.   _

_ “No.  Fear.” _

_ Hux swallowed.  “And what am I afraid of?” _

_ “I’m not a mind-reader,” said Ben.  “But I am good guesser.  I’m guessing you’re scared to tell me whatever it is you’re planning on telling me.” _

_ Hux chewed his lower lip.  “That may be, yes.  Maybe you  _ are  _ psychic.” _

_ “I know we just met, but I  _ really _ like you, Hux.  Whatever you tell me… Honestly, I’m so into you, you could probably tell me you’ve nuked a planet and I wouldn’t mind.” _

_ “You’re crazy.  You’re too fucked-out to think straight.” _

_ “Thinking straight is overrated.  Just tell me.  Please?”  Ben shifted so that he could gaze up into Hux’s eyes.  Hux felt a tightening in his stomach.  An inkling that this wasn’t just post-coital blissed-out pillow talk.  This was the beginning of something real. _

_ “Well, I usually don’t tell men so early on… it seems to be a dealbreaker for a lot of guys.” _

_ “Like your dancing?” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “Which I consider to be a deal-sweetener.” _

_ “God.” _

_ “So just tell me.” _

_ “I have a kid.” _

_ Shock flashed across Ben’s face.  That was not at all what Ben expected Hux to tell him.  He thought maybe Hux would tell him he was once married to a wealthy Austrian baron or that his gender-bending went deeper than he let on.  Ben would’ve been fine with both, of course, provided all contact with the baron had ceased.  He told Hux of his theories.   _

_ Hux laughed.  “I’ve never been married to a baron from any country, nor married at all.”  Then, he began to speak slower, choosing his words more carefully.  “As for the gender thing...that’s a bit more complicated.  I’ve thought a lot about it, and I don’t know anything for sure.  I go back and forth a little, but I think, most of the time, that I’m just a man who’s like  _ really _ in touch with his feminine side? When I was a kid I wished sometimes that I were a girl, I thought things would be easier for me.  But as I’ve gotten older, and found new mediums of self-expression and met other people who aren’t so in-the-box, I’ve felt more comfortable with being a man.  Just, like, a different  _ kind _ of man.  I dunno, I’m rambling.  Did any of that make any sense?” _

_ Ben nodded sagely.  “Yes.” _

_ “I know I’m a bit odd.” _

_ “Oh, Hux.”  Ben squeezed Hux’s hand.  “Odd is my middle name.” _

_ “So that’s what the O stands for!”  Hux and Ben laughed for a moment, but it soon grew awkward, and Ben’s lack of a real response to the whole kid bomb made the air feel thick.  “Ben?” _

_ “Hux?” _

_ “Does my having a daughter bother you?”   _

_ It felt like forever, holding his breath, waiting for Ben to answer.  He liked him so much.  They had just met, but he already felt a connection he hadn’t felt since...well, never, really.  But if he wasn’t cool with Julia, there was no negotiating.  He’d get dressed and leave immediately.  In his head, Hux was already coming up with the fastest and least awkward route that would allow him to pick up the strewn about clothing items around Ben’s apartment. _

_ “No, it doesn’t,” said Ben quietly.  His syllables were slow and separated, as if he was thinking carefully through each sound as he said it.  “I mean, it’s unexpected, and I’ve never dated someone with a kid before, so it makes me a little nervous, I guess, because what if your kid doesn’t like me, and I don’t totally understand children, like as a people, but...I think being a parent, or a good parent, really, is like really admirable and cool.” _

_ “So, not a dealbreaker.” _

_ “No.” _

_ “And you’re not gonna, like, try to steal me away from her and have weird jealousy things about her?” _

_ “Like Meredith in  _ Parent Trap _? God no!” _

_ “Julia loves that movie.” _

_ Ben rolled onto his side and propped his head up.  “Tell me about her.” _

And Hux did, showing him the pictures in his wallet and on his phone, sharing stories, telling him her current catchphrase (“double-yuck!”).  He tried to describe the feeling he had when she was born, that of a terrifying tide coming to swallow him up, only to find that the water was warm and it tossed him only gently.  Ben listened intently, asked questions, seemed to actually care.  And three weeks later, against all better judgement, Hux introduced Ben to Julia, who shook his hand with the professionalism of a tiny businesswoman and said, “What are your intentions with my father?”

 

“What are your intentions with my step-daughter?”  Ben asked Harvey, brandishing his fork with too much intensity as he prepared to dish up.  Ben’s low and clipped way of speaking could be quite menacing when he so chose.  And at this moment, he did so choose.

“Ben!”  Julia flushed, her mouth full of egg roll.

“It’s a fair question.”  Rachel her sipped her wine.  “Don’t you think, Hux?”

Hux folded his hands and tilted his chin in a way that he hoped made him look like Don Corleone in  _ The Godfather _ .  “An excellent question.  Please tell us,  _ Harvey,  _ what brings you to my dinner table this fine December evening?”

Harvey’s eyes darted around like they were following a mad ping-pong ball, finally settling on Julia, pleading for help.  She, however, had buried her face in her hands, mortified.

“I…” he began, voice weak and shaking.  “I’m very confused.  Can you explain the family tree here again, Julia?”

Ben, Hux, and Rachel all exchanged a knowing glance.  A dim bulb flickered at the table.

 


	2. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux has an important conversation about relationships with Julia. Wine is drunk.

“Honey, I’m sorry, but Harvey is a dolt.”

This came from Hux, after he and Julia walked Harvey to the tube station.  His aunt and uncle lived in Camden and he was staying with them for the weekend, but the poor boy (from somewhere in the Midlands, Hux thought, though he didn’t pay much attention) knew nothing of how to get about in London.  Once he was safely aboard the correct line, Julia asked Hux what he thought of him.

She didn’t like his answer.  “That’s not fair, Dad.  He’s really very smart.”

“About what?”

“Well...he’s very good at fixing computers.”

“How useful.”

Julia huffed.  “I would think of all people, given all the shit that Ben’s family put you through, you’d be a little kinder!”

“I just don’t want to see you wasting your time with someone who’s not good enough for you, Jules.”

“So, what, all the guys  _ you _ dated were 100% important and necessary to your journey, or whatever?  None of them were a waste of time?”

“On the contrary, Jules, almost all of them were a waste of time.  And it led to a lot of pain and heartbreak over men who weren’t worth it.  I don’t want that for you.”

“So I just shouldn’t date anyone until I find my one true love, then?  How does that make any sense?”

“I mean—”

“If you hadn’t dated all those losers and learned about stuff from those shitty experiences, do you think you would’ve been able to jump right into a healthy relationship with Ben?  Would you have even known how great he was for you if you didn’t have exes to compare him to?”

“I guess I don’t know, Jules."  Hux set his jaw and tried not to get defensive. "You know I don’t like to deal in hypotheticals.”

“I’m just saying, Dad, it’s not fair to write him off when you’ve only spent two hours with him.  Even if he’s not my one true love, I care about him, okay?  So can you just be nice about it?”

Hux sighed as they approached the flat.  “Yes.  You’re right.  I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.”  

“One thing though?”  Hux had the key in the door.

Julia looked impatient.  “What?”

“Promise me you’re being safe.”

“Dad!”

“I’ll take you to the doctor if you need to get the pill or an IUD or something, but you still need to be using condoms.  These STIs today are something else, superbugs or something, I mean—”

“I’m not sleeping with him!”

“Oh!”  Hux was surprised, but very relieved.  He cocked a brow.  “Waiting till marriage, then?  Is he a religious fellow?  Thinks your family to be full of sinners and sodomites, I’m sure.”

“Christ, Dad.  No, I just...I don’t want to rush into anything, is all.”

Hux smiled.  “You’re so much smarter than I was at your age, Jules.”  He opened the door and they entered the flat, kicking off shoes and unwinding scarves, the comforting clink of glasses and light laughs of Ben and Rachel coming through from the dining area.  “I mean, jesus, I was a dumb little thing.  Slutty, too.  Is it slut-shaming when it’s yourself you’re talking about?”

“Well it contributes to the overall toxic culture of sex-negativity which is leveraged against young people—mostly women, fueling misogynistic attitudes the world over.”

“God, you’re smart.”  Hux gazed at Julia, heart swelling with pride.  “I wish I could say I had something to do with it, but besides buying prenatal vitamins for your mother, I don’t think I can take any credit.”

“Get your ginger asses in here!”  Rachel called cheerfully from the other room.  Julia smirked and made her way to the dining table, Hux following soon after.  Rachel and Ben greeted them, glasses raised.

“I was just basking in the genius of our offspring, Rach,” said Hux, taking his seat beside Ben and pouring himself a glass of wine.  “And then I was going to tell her the story of my first time, as a cautionary tale.”

“Please, God, no,” Julia stood by the kitchen island, frozen in fear.  Ben snorted a little too loudly. 

Hux folded his hands thoughtfully.  “I’ll spare you the intimate details, but this is a story you need to hear.”

“I highly doubt that!”

“C’mon, hon,” Rachel said, pulling out the chair beside her and gesturing to it.  “Let your dad tell you the story of his deflowering.”

Julia sat with a thud.  Rachel poured her two glasses of wine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took 84 years to post


	3. Storytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Rachel and Hux really gave Julia that middle name. They were young and big fans, okay?

“The year was 2001.”  Hux began grandly.  Julia looked sick.  Rachel and Ben were amused.  “It was a sticky night in late June, and a pretty young thing, having just finished school and turned 18, was getting ready to go out for a night on the town with some friends.  The freedom of his new-found adulthood had prompted him to grow out his hair and buy all new clothes, which he was trying on in front of a floor-length mirror in his friend Oliver’s flat.  He settled on a pair of embarrassingly short denim shorts, a loose aqua tank top, and purple Chuck Taylors.  His arms were stacked with bracelets and the jangled nervously as he sat, knees bouncing, on Oliver’s bed, letting Oliver’s roommate, Georgia, do his makeup.  He had never worn the stuff before, and was terribly nervous, but also excited.”

“This is boring.” Julia yawned.

“This is my life story!”

“Maybe you should get Morgan Freeman to narrate it, but the way you’re telling it?  Boring.  Let me guess.  You got all gussied up, felt like your true self for the first time, went out to the club all confident, then drank way too much, hooked up with an older guy who was kinda gross and didn’t use enough lube, and regretted it when you woke up in the morning with a sore asshole and a killer hangover.”

“Julia!”  Rachel gasped.  “That is the rudest thing I’ve ever heard, apologize to your father!”

Julia rolled her eyes and mumbled, “sorry,” unconvincingly.

Hux bit at his lip, unsure of what to say.  Was Julia wrong?  No, not at all.  In fact, she was pretty much right on the nose, but, Jesus, did she have to say it so cruelly?  And be so dismissive?  He was trying to share a pretty big and difficult moment with her, wanted her to understand how big of a deal it was to him, and she just...couldn’t care less, apparently.  

“Excuse me,” he pushed back his chair from the table.  “I’m going to use the bathroom.”

Hux gripped the enamel of the sink and stared into the mirror.  The bright bathroom lights were damning, illuminating every wrinkle and crease he liked to pretend he didn’t have.  He gazed at his eyes.  Were they dulling?  Was he turning into a boring old man whose stories were terribly predictable and uninteresting?  At what age does one stop being an interesting person and turn into… just some old, lame dad?  40 was just months away.  He used to say he’d die before he reached middle age.  Die young and beautiful.  Hux grimaced, he was much too healthy.  He’d probably die a shriveled up, hunched over, sexless 90 year old with major cataracts.  

He splashed some water on his face.

From the kitchen, he could hear Rachel and Julia arguing, and the clinks and shuffles of an awkward Ben putting away the wine and starting the dishes to avoid the conflict. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Julia was saying.  “He’ll listen to some Kate Bush to calm himself down, and then he’ll come back good as new.”

“I can’t believe you,” sighed Rachel.”

“Mum, chill.  He’s just menopausal.”

“Julia Bjork Benowitz Hux!  What has gotten into you?  Maybe you’ve forgotten, since you’ve been away, but your parents are human beings, too.  We don’t just exist to feed you and buy you things.  We have feelings, and there is no excuse for you to talk to your father like that.”

“But I didn’t want to hear the story!”

“We didn’t want to pay 35 grand a year for your university tuition, but we’re doing it, aren’t we?”

“This is extortion.”

“Oh, please.  This isn’t about you owing us, or paying us back.  It’s about  _ respecting _ us.  That was an important part of his life, Julia.  He was trying to share with you a really vulnerable time, trying to let you in on a personal thing—which he so rarely does, opening up like that!—and you not only shot him down, you mocked him in the process!  Why the hell would you do that?  Did you get into a fight on the walk back, or something?  I mean, jesus, Jules!  That was the coldest I’ve ever seen you.”

There was silence for a moment, then the sound of a chair scraping against the floor.  “I’m going up to my room,” said Julia, and then came the familiar noise of her feet ascending the spiral stairs.

With a ragged breath, Hux took another look at himself.  He tried to see the kid from the story: young, beautiful, excited, full of energy.  That night wasn't perfect, of course.  The guy was less than a gentleman and the bar smelled like piss.  But the resilience of youth, y'know?  He got up the next day, felt minor pangs of shame and regret, but ultimately just thought _hey, tomorrow's another day_.  That boy isn't in the mirror now.  Who is?  A used-up man.  Tired.  Bags under eyes.  Crows feet.  Coffee-yellowed teeth.  And, oh no—is that a gray hair?  

Jesus, thought Hux.  Can that really be me?


	4. Heterophobes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for somewhat antiquated notions of virginity

Julia may have been rude, but she wasn’t wrong.  Hux whisper-sang himself some Kate Bush lyrics, splashed some water on his face, and returned to the dining room table as good as new (outwardly, at least).

“Hey, you okay?” asked Ben, rising to meet Hux.  Hux nodded and scrunched up his face as if to say, “it’s nothing, doesn’t bother me one bit.”

“She gets that rotten streak from you,” teased Rachel, pouring Hux another glass of wine.

Hux accepted and gulped the wine, then took his seat beside Ben.  “No, I understand.  No kid wants to think about having their parents having sex.  I just wanted her to understand the emotional impact of doing it for the first time, y’know?”

Rachel and Ben nodded.  “‘My first time,” Ben began, “was so awkward.  And I thought it wouldn’t be, because Phasma and I had been together for about a year and we were so, like,  _ we’re ready for this, we’re emotionally prepared, we’ve seen diagrams and also movies,  _ and so on.  But God...the first time we tried the ‘Big Event,’ I couldn’t find the hole, and my mom was downstairs making dinner, and it was just ridiculous.  The first time we actually succeeded, it lasted about 30 seconds.”

Rachel shook her head.  “That poor girl.”

“After that it became like a big thing, you know?  Like we thought, now that we started, we had to have sex  _ all the time _ .  Even when neither of us were really in the mood.  It just seemed like an obligation.  So we’re dumb 16 year olds, having awkward, eye-contact-avoidant sex in my twin bed every other day, and never talking about how it feels or what we like.  Eventually it got better, of course, but it took a really long time.  And every interaction started to feel higher stakes.”

Rachel sipped her wine.  “I’ve never heard you talk this long.”

“What about you, Raych?” Asked Hux.  I don’t know your first time story.”

“17, summer camp, by the lake under the stars.  She was the counselor of Tent D, I was the counselor of Tent E.  The tension had been building all summer and one blessed August night, things came to a head.  Magical.  Never saw her again.”

“That’s so sad,” frowned Ben.  

“No, it’s perfect.  I have that one perfect memory, not tainted by fights or poorly-ended relationships that came after.  Just that one, lovely night under the stars.”

“That’s not so sad,” smiled Ben.  “I kind of wish I’d had something like that, maybe.  I mean, I loved Phasma, and love makes sex better, usually, but not when you’re just starting out, you know?”

“Do you think Julia loves this Harvey character?”  Rachel asked them both.

“I don’t think so,” said Hux.  “Only likes him just enough.”

“I don’t know,” said Ben, “it takes a lot to bring someone home to your parents.”

“Unless,” Rachel proposed, “she just doing this to piss us off.  Rebel against her heterophobic parents.”

Ben guffawed.  “Oh my god, did she use the word ‘heterophobic?’”

“Yeah, when she told me she was bringing him home, she said, ‘I know you and Dad are like heterophobic and want me to be a raging lesbian, but I like him so can you just be open-minded?!’  I burst out laughing as soon as we said goodbye.”

Hux nodded with fake solemnity.  “I’m oh-so-scared of the heteros.”

“I just want her to understand that we don’t not like him because he’s a he,” Rachel said.  “I mean, God, like we didn’t have enough problems with our parents regarding the genders of our partners.  I just want someone that’s good enough for her.  Worthy of her time.”

“Of course, so do I,” said Ben.

“I just don’t think he’s worthy of her time, or her emotional investment, or her virgini—”  

Suddenly, Hux said, “do you think he could be diseased?”

“DAD!”  Julia yelled from upstairs before stomping down the steps.  

“Have you been eavesdropping?” asked Rachel.

“It’s not really eavesdropping when  _ I’m _ the subject matter.”

Hux reached out a hand to her, which she didn’t take.  “We’re just concerned about you, is all.”

Julia crossed her arms around her chest.  “Well don’t be!  I’m an adult.  And you know nothing about Harvey, how can you start appraising him for worth with nothing to go off of?”

Hux opened his mouth to say something, but Rachel spoke up first.  “You know what, hon?  You’re right.  Why don’t you sit down and tell us what you like about him.”

Julia eyed her mother warily.  “Really?”

“Really.”

“And you’ll keep your judgements to yourself?”

“Sure, Jules.”

Julia shifted her attention to Hux and Ben.  “Dad?”

“Yes, I’ll refrain from judgement.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, Jules, I promise.”

“Ben?”

“I get what it’s like to have your parents hate your partner, Jules,” said Ben, glancing at Hux.  “I’ll be nice, I promise.”

Julia pursed her lips in thought, considering.  She went to the fridge, grabbed a beer, and sat down beside her mother at the table.  

“Ok,” she said.  “Here we go.”


	5. The List of Lists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a million years to update.  
> 

Top Ten Reasons Julia likes Harvey:

  1. He’s quiet, which makes her feel calm
  2. She likes playing football with him, and she always wins
  3. He smells good—like pine
  4. He knows a lot about birds, which is kind of cool? Maybe?
  5. His eyes are a pretty blue-grey color 
  6. He has very straight teeth
  7. He makes pretty good nachos
  8. He genuinely wants to spend a lot of time with her, and other people don’t seem to
  9. He knows all the words to “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls
  10. He’s good at braiding her hair, which she finds romantic



 

“That’s all I can think of right now,” she shrugged.  “And you can say that those aren’t real reasons or I don’t know anything if you want, but it’d be super rude, so just know that.”  Julia downed her beer.

Hux started to say, “I think—”

“And if you’re going to judge me for this list,” Julia interrupted, “then I’d like to hear you make a list about what you like about Ben.  See what you come up with when you’re put on the spot!”

“I’m not going to judge you for it, Jules.  I think it’s sweet.”  Hux reached for her hand but she only eyed him, suspicious.  “Maybe we were a bit quick to judge.”

“Yeah,” said Rachel.  “It sounds like he might be a person who flourishes in one-on-one situations.”

“Right,” said Ben.  “And I’m sure he was nervous.  Made him seem more dolt-y than he otherwise would.”

“We just want the best for you,” said Hux.  “And, I’m realizing, we probably won’t think  _ anyone _ is good enough for you.  That poor boy didn’t stand a chance.”

“You could’ve brought an actual prince in here and we wouldn’t have liked him,” said Rachel.

Hux scrunched his nose.  “I don’t want her dating a prince!  That puts a target on her back, gets her involved in complicated things!  Harvey doesn’t have royal connections,  does he?”

Rachel smiled.  “You see?”

“I’m sorry, Jules,” sighed Hux.  Rachel and Ben nodded and gave their apologies, too.  “Why don’t you invite Harvey over for lunch tomorrow?  And we can try again.  Being especially nice, this time.”

“We can even do what my family tried to do when they met Hux,” said Ben, “though hopefully we’ll be more successful.”

“What did they do?”  asked Julia.

“Every time someone said something rude or judgmental or whatever, they would call each other in it.  They had a code word— ‘muskrat.’  It was mostly Han yelling it at my mom, but it was better than nothing.”

“And we’ll be better than them,” said Hux.

“Promise?”  Julia looked at her parental figures warily.

“Promise.”

 

* * *

 

After Rachel and Julia headed home, Ben and Hux stumbled, wine-tipsy, into their bedroom.

“I feel like an asshole,” said Hux, taking out his contacts.

“I know.  Me too,” Ben answered while stripping down to his boxers.  “But Jules was being a bit of an ass, too.  Her response to your first time story was pretty not-nice.”

“Yeah, but I started it with giving her a hard time about Harvey on the way back from the tube station.”  Hux shed his jeans and sweater and rolled into the bed.  “Besides, I’m the adult.  I have to be more mature.”

“She’s an adult now, too.”

“Motherfucking Christ, don’t ever say that again.”  Hux flopped onto his stomach, pressing his face into the pillow.  

Ben smiled a bit and scooted closer to Hux, placing a comforting hand on his back.  “I know it’s weird, babe.  But it’s something we’ve gotta get used to.”

“She was a baby like a week ago!  When did time start moving so fast?”

“When you started enjoying your life.”

Hux sighed and rolled onto his back.  Staring up at the ceiling, he took Ben’s hand in his own.  Ben shifted to rest his head on Hux’s shoulder and stared up at the nothingness with him.

After a few moments, Ben said, “I thought her list was actually very sweet.”

Hux nodded slightly.  “Me too.”  He gave Ben’s hand a squeeze.  “Some of her points reminded me of you and I in the beginning.”  

Ben smiled.  “Like what?”

“Like, the thing about him making her feel calm.  And him genuinely wanting to spend time with her.  Smelling good, knowing a lot about one weird topic—birds for Harvey, post-punk revivalism for you—and the hair braiding!  The first time you braided my hair I almost fell asleep because I felt so relaxed and serene, so blissed out.  And that was pretty early, too.  We’d only been seeing each other a few weeks.  It felt like a big step, to be so vulnerable.”

“You think having your hair braided is a more vulnerable position than being fucked in the ass?”

“Of course.”

Ben snorted, and Hux laughed with him.  “What would be on your list of stuff you love about me, now?”

“What would be on  _ your _ list?”

The pair exchanged a knowing smile as they tangled their limbs together.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Meet the Parents, set about 6 years after the events of that one.
> 
> Every time you leave a comment, I weep with joy. Please comment plz


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